Western Haiku

So my boss, Leona Helmsley, is really ranting about the budget. It's March and already things aren't looking so good. She spent hours reaming me out yesterday because my personnel budget is in the red. It's in the red because she came up with a month-long project that requires one of my part-timer contract employees to work in the field. They'll be working full-time for the duration, but now Leona is pissed because those work hours have to come out of my budget, and they don't exist. Each week, I'll just get further into the budget black hole. To pay for this employee, who usually works one day a week, I'll have to cut three others for a minimum six-week period, all because she couldn't find funding for this special project. And whose fault is all of this? You guessed it, me. The middle manager chump. It makes me want wo wax poetic:

I see your mouth move
but all that I'm hearing is
blahdy-blah blah blah

my boss has her 'crew'
they meet and walk side by side
ass clowns on parade

But, enough of that. I've got some great Western Haiku, sent in from JT, who lives and toils in the Great Northwest. These are true works of art...I think you'll agree:

Heads nod as boss talks.
Brown nosers all see his point.
Yes, they all agree.


If I had a belt,
I'd have something to tie the
dynamite onto.


The table zombies'
eyebrows lift in feigned surprise:
The numbers are up?


Revenue streams up,
but circulation is down.
Hostages still stable.

New Haiku

So, it's March....and I've got some haiku that helps ring in the new month. The following comes from Charlene K, a former newspaper person who is now a professional writer and editor in New York City. So you know these have to be good:

Black suit, high heels, pearls
all i hear is bark! bark! bark!
Eat me, control freak!


This one falls under the category of "Maybe you should take a day off or something".....

You are my boss but
I really wish you were dead
because i hate you

Thanks, Charlene!