This list is evolving, of course, but we thought we'd start with a few basic categories to kick things off. Eventually, all categories will link to specific groups of haiku.
Meeting Hell
Tired of long pointless meetings? Do what we do. ...haiku!
Middle Management
In limbo between the executive suits and hourly employees, middle managers vent their frustration, haiku-style.
Cubicle Life
Living in a box can be stifling, but it can produce some great haiku...and keeps you out of the boss' line of sight
Saturday, December 23, 2006
My favorite Haiku (for now)
My all-time favorite, written during a three-hour marathon session sponsored by the H.R. department on the topic of "Hiring for Talent". It featured, among other things, a fill-in questionaire on the topic that we all had to read aloud.
Bang bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang bang reload
Bang bang bang bang bang
A "brainstorming" session last month produced this one:
There are no answers
There are no questions, either
Meetings are like that
And this one, from a call for manager participation in a company-sponsored community event by the company president (because we're salaried and our time doesn't cost anything):
We're looking for more...
managers to volunteer
to paint kids' faces
Lastly, a little ditty composed in honor of annual evaluations I have to perform on my staff:
Evaluations?
Let's enact Sharia Law
Miss deadline, lose hand
Bang bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang bang reload
Bang bang bang bang bang
A "brainstorming" session last month produced this one:
There are no answers
There are no questions, either
Meetings are like that
And this one, from a call for manager participation in a company-sponsored community event by the company president (because we're salaried and our time doesn't cost anything):
We're looking for more...
managers to volunteer
to paint kids' faces
Lastly, a little ditty composed in honor of annual evaluations I have to perform on my staff:
Evaluations?
Let's enact Sharia Law
Miss deadline, lose hand
Bring on your haiku
Why haiku? Any chump can do Iambic Pentameter, for one thing. Second, the name of this blog is Management Haiku.
It's as simple as.....
Seven..five...seven
It ain't a limerick, it's haiku.
The first and last lines are five syallables each. The middle line is seven syallables.
The rest....is up to you.
Submitting your work
We love to read your work, almost as much as you love to spend company time writing it.
Email, snail mail...it's all good!
Please the posts in this blog for comments and observations. To send us your haiku, email them to us here or send them to:
Management Haiku
89 Auburn St.
#1190
Portland, ME 04103
Getting Published
As often as possible, but at least once a week, all haiku are read by our staff (me, my wife, our dogs, and a select panel of middle managers). The best of the best are posted.
All work will be credited. Your name won't be used (unless you specify otherwise) but your profession will be.
If your work is published, online or elsewhere, you won't be paid. I won't be paid, either. You will, however, have the satisfaction of seeing your haiku published for the enjoyment of office-dwellers everywhere
It's as simple as.....
Seven..five...seven
It ain't a limerick, it's haiku.
The first and last lines are five syallables each. The middle line is seven syallables.
The rest....is up to you.
Submitting your work
We love to read your work, almost as much as you love to spend company time writing it.
Email, snail mail...it's all good!
Please the posts in this blog for comments and observations. To send us your haiku, email them to us here or send them to:
Management Haiku
89 Auburn St.
#1190
Portland, ME 04103
Getting Published
As often as possible, but at least once a week, all haiku are read by our staff (me, my wife, our dogs, and a select panel of middle managers). The best of the best are posted.
All work will be credited. Your name won't be used (unless you specify otherwise) but your profession will be.
If your work is published, online or elsewhere, you won't be paid. I won't be paid, either. You will, however, have the satisfaction of seeing your haiku published for the enjoyment of office-dwellers everywhere
Friday, December 22, 2006
Welcome, cubicle-dwellers!
If you're anything like me, you didn't intend for this to happen.
In fact, you may be justifying to yourself that you're anything but what you've become: a middle manager. To our companies, you're the gel in the hair...the tasty middle stuff in an oreo cookie (what is that stuff, anyway?)...the glue that binds everyone together, cubicle by faric-and-steel cubicle.
Or, maybe you aren't a middle manager. You're an Assistant Whatever or a Something Specialist. You're a clerk, a tech, a systems administrator. You're overworked and underpaid, and under pressure from those below and above you. You have a lot of responsibility, but no real power.
So...how did you end up here?
You probably started your career with some big ideas about Doing Something, or perhaps Making Stuff Happen. You didn't sign up to live life in a flourescent cubicle, reacting to interruptions, your boss' emotional tirades subject to a neverending, mind-sucking parade of pointless meetings where your soul fades away....
...But wait. It's time to take control of your workplace destiny. All of us are responsible for the increased productivity of the American workplace. Corporate balance sheets have never looked better! We've decided our company can spare us a few minutes of creative time and think others feel the same way. Heading into another 9-5 day...sorry, a 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. day...you've got to arm yourself with more than caffeine and the employee manual.
There's still time to make a difference, to make your voice heard. Like you, we're middle managers who still have enough soul to express ourselves in the sparse, sparing lines of a haiku poem.
The ancient Japanese art of Haiku—spare and beautiful, requiring clarity of thought, tolerating no wasted words—is a perfect way to get out your managment frustration. Instead of doodling on that legal pad the next time you're forced to attend a mandatory safety committee meeting, get creative and scratch out some haiku!
ManagementHaiku.Com is a meeting space, of sorts—not the kind you've spent so much time in at your workplaces, but a safe, friendly place populated with like-minded, creative individuals such as yourself. You can take off your tie in here...in fact, better to not even bring one. Share your poetry with others who can relate—exactly—to your plight. See just how creative you can be when your powers are used for good instead of evil. If you've got no haiku to share, tell us what it's like to work at your company. You don't have use names...
So, attend that meeting with a new purpose! Bring in a roller ball pen! And get your Haiku on. We're waiting....
In fact, you may be justifying to yourself that you're anything but what you've become: a middle manager. To our companies, you're the gel in the hair...the tasty middle stuff in an oreo cookie (what is that stuff, anyway?)...the glue that binds everyone together, cubicle by faric-and-steel cubicle.
Or, maybe you aren't a middle manager. You're an Assistant Whatever or a Something Specialist. You're a clerk, a tech, a systems administrator. You're overworked and underpaid, and under pressure from those below and above you. You have a lot of responsibility, but no real power.
So...how did you end up here?
You probably started your career with some big ideas about Doing Something, or perhaps Making Stuff Happen. You didn't sign up to live life in a flourescent cubicle, reacting to interruptions, your boss' emotional tirades subject to a neverending, mind-sucking parade of pointless meetings where your soul fades away....
...But wait. It's time to take control of your workplace destiny. All of us are responsible for the increased productivity of the American workplace. Corporate balance sheets have never looked better! We've decided our company can spare us a few minutes of creative time and think others feel the same way. Heading into another 9-5 day...sorry, a 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. day...you've got to arm yourself with more than caffeine and the employee manual.
There's still time to make a difference, to make your voice heard. Like you, we're middle managers who still have enough soul to express ourselves in the sparse, sparing lines of a haiku poem.
The ancient Japanese art of Haiku—spare and beautiful, requiring clarity of thought, tolerating no wasted words—is a perfect way to get out your managment frustration. Instead of doodling on that legal pad the next time you're forced to attend a mandatory safety committee meeting, get creative and scratch out some haiku!
ManagementHaiku.Com is a meeting space, of sorts—not the kind you've spent so much time in at your workplaces, but a safe, friendly place populated with like-minded, creative individuals such as yourself. You can take off your tie in here...in fact, better to not even bring one. Share your poetry with others who can relate—exactly—to your plight. See just how creative you can be when your powers are used for good instead of evil. If you've got no haiku to share, tell us what it's like to work at your company. You don't have use names...
So, attend that meeting with a new purpose! Bring in a roller ball pen! And get your Haiku on. We're waiting....
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